One Hundred and Fifty Five

Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one down at Your feet
Every moment of my wandering
Never changes what You see

I tried to win this war, I confess
My hands are weary, Lord, I need Your rest
Mighty warrior, King of the fight
No matter what I face, You’re by my side

When You don’t move the mountains
I’m needing You to move
When you don’t part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When you don’t give the answers
As I cry out to You–
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You

Truth is, You know what tomorrow brings
There’s not a day ahead You have not seen
So in all things be my life and breath
I want what You want, Lord, and nothing less

You are my strength and comfort
You are my steady hand
You are my firm foundation
The rock on which I stand
Your ways are always higher
Your plans are always good
There’s not a place that I go
You’ve not already stood

I will trust in You
(lyrics by Lauren Daigle)

I think over these last few very difficult years, I have lost so much of my trust in Him. The truth is, though, I’ve never needed to rest in His goodness more. But I think circumstances have rubbed me so raw, so relentlessly, that sometimes the promises I know are true, ring false anyway, and the hope I have in His very nature, slips through my fingers…

And yet, no matter where I am in the journey, He is unchanging. And I WILL trust Him. I will choose it, I will choose it with every fiber of my being, until I FEEL it. And then I will rest in His goodness again. Oh please, Jesus!

Thank You, Loving, Mighty, Beautiful Father, for being trustworthy, for being Good, and for being so patient with me. More than patient, in fact. For being HERE with me, wherever I am, whatever veil of tears I walk through. You take Yourself through it with me. You amaze me in every respect. I love You. Please, may I be ALL Yours? Hopes, dreams, trust and all?

Thank You for being You…

One Hundred and Fifty Four

facialsTonight I’m thankful for the kindness of a client who offered me the gift of one of her spa facials as a thank you for the design work she hires me to do for her… I know, right? A free facial… just for doing my job…

Let me tell you, my skin is glowing now, and so smooth!!

But more than that, my soul is soothed. She had no idea what this year has held for us; the way the foundations of everything are shaking; the disappointments and despair. She just wanted to reach out and give me a gift.

And somehow, receiving my first spa facial has spoken to my heart tonight.

It’s all going to be okay.

Thank You, Lord, for Your kindness and care. And for this sweet client who is such a blessing to so many. And for a clean, fresh face to turn toward tomorrow…

146.) The Face of Joy

I heard a beautiful 87 year old lady speak at my church the other night. Half-Jewish, she survived the Holocaust in Germany. And her faith inspired me, her joy humbled me. And I’m so thankful for the opportunity to hear her story…

(Read the full post here)

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Anita’s memoir of her experience…

144.) Because He Sees…

Yesterday, He said my name– through the lips of an aging missionary man whom I hadn’t seen since my childhood.

He said my name and spoke to my spirit of how He sees me. He sees it all. All in a few simple and totally unexpected words. “I know. God has laid your family on my heart. I have been praying for many years…”

And the reminder of how He sees me– how He’s always seen this point in my family’s history, from the beginning of time– lifted me out of a darkness I have been wading through for so long I begin to forget what hope looks like. Lifted me just enough to take a deep breath of His clean, hopeful air. Enough to hold me for a little bit longer.

His grace is so much bigger than I will ever know…

Yesterday was a miraculous day for me…
And it reminded me of a post I wrote a number of years ago when doing a bible study in Africa. I want to share it with you because the lesson affected me so profoundly then, and again now. The lesson of The God Who Sees Me: http://hispoetry.blogspot.com/2011/01/god-who-sees-me.html

“…He sees each individual nobody; we are the point of His involvement with this planet in coming as Jesus Christ to die that we might know Him and live. He sees us when all is well, and He smiles with our smiling hearts. And He sees us when we are hiding behind a frail smile, and kisses at the wounds hiding there. He sees every single effort we make which goes unnoticed, every varied emotion which rolls through our souls and rocks us with it, every tear of frustration shed or left inside. He sees every kind of joy dancing in our spirits which we cannot put to adequate words. He sees it all. He always has. El Roi—The God Who Sees.” — an excerpt from my blogpost

And I am so deeply thankful that He sees.

And He sees you too. In all of your beauty, and in all of your brokenness. He sees you, and He loves you, and He wants to tell you so. Listen out for how He might be saying it… Listen out, train your ears to pick up His voice… and soon, you will hear, you will see, you will know. 

Lord, nothing thrills me like You do…

One hundred and forty three

I was just thinking about the love of God.
And so much gratitude spilled into my heart that I had to share…

You know, life changes with every passing day. There’s an ebb and flow to it. I’ve found dear friendships can come and go. Family relationships go from wonderful to challenging. Most days my hubby makes me feel so very loved, but some days we’re distracted and don’t connect like my heart needs. The only love in my life that has been constant and steadfast, is God’s. It’s only me that does not always steadily rest in it, always trying to seek someone’s approval to fill my own need to feel loved.

The deepest rest is when I stop to realize all the love in the world rests on me simply because He is who He is. That cannot change because He is not changeable. Oh Lord, how would I do this life without You?!

I am so thankful for His unconditional love. No matter the state I’m in, or the ugly things in my heart, or the beauty to be found there. Good or bad, doesn’t matter. He loves, He loves, He loves and He loves some more…

Some times we complicate the theory of His love so much. Our human view is so limited. We can be so well-meaning too, as Christians, and yet, how can we possibly try to encapsulate in any expression Who and What and How He is?! We can only humbly live in Him and boldly love through Him and rightly leave the rest up to Him…

So, despite knowing full well how meager my words would be, I would love nothing joyjourneymore than to share with you how you might experience this grace too (for it IS such amazing grace)… Please know I’m here to talk to if you’d like– whoever you are, sweet reader. And more importantly, He is there. With love like nothing we can possibly describe or capture…

Thankfully,
Leah

 

122 through 142

Some days, for whatever reason, my joy drops. I don’t always know why. Perhaps it’s hormonal. Or I just get tired of holding back the greyness that threatens to rain on my parade for a million reasons at most times… But today, Lizzie reminded me that to fight for our joy, we have to remember why we’re thankful. For every reason there is to feel the cold, greyness, there are two reason to smile. So I fight in list-form…

Things to feel thankful for today:
122.) For Spring
123.) For little ones who wrap their arms so tightly around me, and in so doing, wrap me tightly around their little pinky fingers…
124.) Hope
125.) For being able to create…
126.) For learning new things
127.) For L.M. Montgomery and her turns of phrases
128.) For every discovery I make in using my PSE11!!!
129.) My handsome husband. I didn’t really know we would become such good friends as well as lovers…
130.) England. I dream of you and long wistfully for you and all the memories and dear ones you hold…
131.) The cute way Terra held her Easter basket straight out in front of her as she wandered around Grandma’s patio collecting Easter eggs 🙂
132.) That the website is finished, and that I was able to figure out how to do it. I am still kinda amazed.
133.) For the helpfulness of my essential oils. I still watch in wonder as my Diabetic health improves all the time. So hopeful!
134.) Stillness & quiet
135.) Chocolate
136.) My baby bro and all the laughter!
137.) The way God lovingly and gently prunes me… and waits quietly for me to realize it’s Him
138.) Starting new chapters
139.) My Mom
140.) Hearing a friend’s voice across the miles in a recorded sermon he gave
141.) Sunshine
142.) This collaborative list of Eucharisteo and the friend/sister I (quite pitifully) keep it with…